When one of my girlfriends tells me she’s met someone new, my first question is always:
Does he give good email?
I say “good email” but really this applies to all situations where you are communicating only in writing.
Let’s face it, if you are trying to flirt by text or email you only have your words to get their attention! So listen up: here are 4 ways to be an awesome online chatter.
You don’t even have to be perfect at spelling or grammar.
Tip #1: Assume the Best
So you’re feeling a little flirtatious. Maybe a little bored. You’re looking for a little adventure. You click that “Chat with a Stranger” button and meet another Stranger in a completely private chat room.
What next? Strangers, assume the best.
- Assume that you are getting paired with someone you want to talk to.
- And on the flip side, assume YOU are someone this stranger wants to talk to!
Because you’re looking for attractive banter, it’s tempting to write “A/S/L” right out of the gate. Why waste your time?
That’s exactly the problem. You’ve just told this Stranger you think they might be a waste of your time. Not exactly a great first impression!
It’s also a really unattractive way to let someone know you’re in the mood.
That doesn’t mean you can’t be clear about what you’re looking for. You can be upfront. It’s all in your delivery. Keep reading.
Tip #2: Make that First Sentence Count
Whether you start chatting, or they do, that first sentence can make or break you. You never get a second chance to make a first impression! Or, you might…but with x number of people on StrangerMeetup.com at any given time…the odds are against you and probably neither of you will know it.
Show them what they’re getting when they talk to you. This is where you can be clear, too, about what you’re looking for.
Instead of, “A/S/L?” you can say:
- Hey there Stranger, I’m feeling frisky and I hope you’re a tall handsome man interested in women who look like Mila Kunis.
Sound corny? Hey, put it in your own words. But include these ingredients:
- A greeting. Say hello. Be friendly and welcoming.
- Give a little insight into what you want to chat about. Maybe a hug isn’t on your mind at all! Then, perhaps try “I’m taking a break from writing a boring paper for school” or “I can’t figure out what to make for dinner and that’s where you come in.” Being funny* is always good.
- Tackle the gender question. Man, woman, transgender – whoever you are and whoever you’re looking for – go for it!
- Don’t be crude. Notice how I kept the language playful and suggestive. It’s called flirtation because you’re dancing around the subject. If your chat partner is up for it, get down to the brass tacks of the down and dirty. Never get crude until your chat partner indicates its what she wants.
If your chat partner responds well, it’s time for the actual chatting.
Tip #3: Details are appealing. Get Descriptive
Your words are your foreplay here, Strangers. IRL you’d have your eyes and hands to do the talking. But you’re not IRL. You’re in a chatroom.
Your words need to do the talking – and touching, and looking…you get the idea.
Here are some ideas for how to say it.
- Describe how this person is making you feel. You may have a physical reaction, and it’s cool to mention that, but you can’t stop there. Describe your other physical sensations, too.
- Inspire them the way they’re inspiring you. Fantasies are good. Lay ‘em out there. And give as good as you get.
- Take your time! No need to cut right to the chase! I can tell you I took a walk to the park…or I can tell you what I wore, what I brought with me, what I saw on the way, what I was thinking about…you get the idea.
- Let them know what’s working. Positive feedback is enjoyable in any situation.
Tip #4: Have Fun!
You did come here to have fun, right?
If you’re feeling inspired to try out these tips, why not come to the chatroom? Maybe I’ll see you in there.